I'm afraid of failure. But more than that, I'm afraid of getting stuck in a situation I don't like. Permanently.
Right now, I'm working 3 days a week at a job I like. It pays me regularly and presents me with challenging work.
But the idea that situation might be the rest of my life fill me with dread. Work, work, work. And no rest. No break for creativity.
That's why I became an indie hacker. I want to create something that's long-term sustainable, bringing in thousands of dollars a month.
That way, I can take a break from it sometimes and work on other things. Or take a day or week or month off from work.
My dream is to create a company that gives other people these options too — enough money to thrive, and more than enough time to enjoy life.
Actually, my true dream is greater than that: it's to create a company that spawns more companies that allows for freedom to spread widely.
But that all seems so far away right now.
I don't have one source of income besides the main company I work at. And every time I try to double down on something, I get scared.
The fear is not: "what if it doesn't work out?" The fear is: "what if it works, and now I'm stuck building it forever?"
And worse: what if it works, but only kind of. Like, it brings in a few hundred a month, but not enough to sustain me and my family.
Either way, I'm a failure.
I feel like there's a million failures between here and where I want to be. Like I have to get comfortable with the idea that being "in-between" two places isn't failure, it's just in between.